06/29

9:02 (writing this on 06/30)

Unproductive. Today marked the very worst day of my work. I was on a "roll" with finishing my readings during the morning, but my momentum slowly declined after lunch. My mind kept falling asleep whenever I read a page from my book. I think I hit food coma right after lunch. So, to make a long story short, I was quite distracted, easily lost my focus, and did not get near my targeted goal for the day.

Since I felt so upset on myself for my lack of performance, I worked extremely hard during my gym workout. I did a speed workout, and by the time I finished, I could barely catch my breathe.

On top of that, I rocked my socks during my workout.

After a very difficult workout, I got changed and went to Fida's room to indulge in her superb middle-eastern food.

Her falafels were just like the falafels from San Francisco. I slightly get homesick every time I am reminded of San Francisco. 

I love talking to Fida because she makes me miss my family and my culture. Her love for her family and her pride for her culture makes me become a better daughter and sister, and get back into my Filipino roots. 

I ended the night with a bike ride that probably made my bruise worse. The wind refreshed me and I no longer cared about my bike bruise (which I named "Bobby"). Oh, and I also did my daily call with Mara (shoutout to her). Talking to her justified my homesickness because it hit me that all our conversations are virtual. And, I have 7 more weeks of these virtual conversations. Well, it is better than nothing, right?

06/27

01:59 (writing this on 06/28)

Fascinated. When we sometimes talk about our days to our friends or family, we usually break it up in three sections: morning, afternoon, night. At least that's how I do it when I talk to Mara, and that is what I shall do for this blog post!

Morning

I woke up with back aches and soreness from a very productive and life-changing Friday night. AGAIN, YA GIRL PRESH LEARNED HOW TO RIDE A BIKE! Then, I took my time to get up from the comforts of my sturdy, non-tempurpedic bed. I somewhat rushed because this Saturday breakfast was different; I was eating with my Filipino fam! As I mentioned from my previous blog, I extremely love Filipino hospitality. I feel right at home when I went to Tita Ana's home (and I am even going to Church with them on Sunday, in a couple of hours). When I ate the Chicken adobo and eggplant torta, I extremely felt slight homesickness. I miss my mom's cooking. But, Tita Ana's food made up for my Filipino food cravings!

During the entire breakfast, we talked about our lives in the Philippines, our current work and future aspirations. I love how our conversations went from one thing to another! But, the most memorable conversation I had was with Tito Myer. I asked him so many questions about his work to the point that I felt I was annoying! He even showed me his published journals and his 400 pages book about lifting global awareness about pigeon pea. Who knew how much research, money and effort are put into the study of seeds? 

Spending the day with Tita Ana and Tito Myer really motivates me to get a PhD. The only obstacle I have from that goal is myself. If I do not believe that I can get it, then I certainly will not get one. I am so inspired to be surrounded by Filipinos that have achieved so much through education. As a Filipino, low-income woman, I have to break so many stereotypes and work twice as hard as others just to make it "far" or to be "successful". And, seeing others, especially Filipino role models, overcome these institutionalized obstacles is definitely a big source of motivation to excel and inspire the future generation through my work.

After a lovely breakfast that ran until noon, I went to Fida's room. Fida is a Syrian PhD student that has undeniable amount of pride for her culture. We talked a great deal about politics and the impact of U.S.'s "manifest destiny" to conquer lands or to spread democracy as their justification. It hurt me to see how she is directly affected by the U.S. foreign policies, but she still needs to remain strong to disprove and go against the societal stereotypes that have been crafted by media and current events. Since I have never met a Syrian woman before, I did not know a great deal about their culture. And, our conversations opened my eyes to witness her resilience, her pride and her love for her culture. I know she does not want my sympathy, but instead she wants me to realize the beauty of her culture, and I certainly have a better understanding of the strong Syrian culture.

Afternoon

I spent a majority of my morning talking to people! A part of me just wanted to lie down and sleep the entire day, but there is so much to do, and I cannot let any opportunity slip by! So, I got ready and went with the Cornell kids to have another adventurous journey to Hyderabad city.

Our first stop was Shilparamam, a local market, that I visited last Saturday. 

I decided to visit more artistic booths because I already went through the clothing booths for my first visit. Then, I met Amit.

Amit explained the Mathila culture through his art. He did not speak clear English, and I knew he struggled to keep a conversation with me. However, it touched me to see him try in the process! By the end of our conversation, I bought two bookmarks for RS 500, a 50% discount. I thought I made a good deal, but I kept feeling ripped off. I know I should never worry about money while I am here, but I cannot help but calculate Rupees to dollars, and continually feel ripped off. I hate to admit it but I am stingy about my money, even though I should be grateful and blessed to have more than enough. Nonetheless, I still felt happy to support Amit.

By the time I left Amit, we needed to somewhat leave. Then, Zubi, my good old friend, invited us for tea (chai)!

I love how he has such a good heart and a clear sense of hospitality to anyone, not just foreigners. And, he treats everyone with the same respect. He even invited us to go to his motherland, Pashmina, and offered his place for us! More importantly, I noticed that he does all of this to learn. He is curious and he uses every conversation he has with people to expand his horizons! I do not think his hospitality is driven by money, but rather his curiosity. 

Next, we grocery shopped at Q-Mart. Since I now livd in a flatlet with a kitchen and refrigerator, I decided to go all out with grocery shopping. And, this is what happens when I grocery shop on my own:

Again, I felt like I overspent, but I think it is part of the experience. Next time, I will be more mindful about my spendings, but I have to learn first! Well, I am excited to cook some grub for 4th of July and even make my own omelette.

Since I had no more money due to my excessive grocery shopping, I just window shopped in FabIndia. 

Window-shopping gave me more insights on Indian styles and my potential gifts for friends and families. I literally have been shopping, and I am surprised that I do not really get tired of it. I have to do a blogpost of the Indian culture focusing on malls and markets. It's definitely a new and unique experience. 

Evening 

What better way to end a productive day than with food?!

You see that crepe-looking food? Well, the "crepe" is dal with chicken biryani, fish curry and vegetarian biryani. I felt such a creative eater with my brilliant idea to integrate French cuisine with Indian food. Then, I had Chinese appetizers like an egg roll and I forgot the rest of the small-looking figures. Oh, and there's a very Westernized looking pasta to soothe my American cravings. I felt extremely bloated afterwards, and had a tinge of regret for putting too much food on my plate. But, when else would I eat this food?!? 

When I got back from my very fascinating day filled with educational, enlightening conversations and superb food, I unpacked the groceries and placed them in the fridge.

I am definitely an adult now. 

06/28

8:34 (writing this on 06/30)

Tiring. First of all, I need to set a better schedule for myself to keep up to date with this blog, and not have to write it a day or two after. Well, this is what I remember from Sunday:

I woke up fifteen minutes before I had to be ready in front of Tita Ana's house for Mass. Since I didn't want to run on Filipino time, I rushed to get ready. When I got to the car, I was ten minutes late. I really need to have better sleeping schedules and be more responsible with my time. As we were driving, I could not help but feel so exhausted. I kept snoozing off, but still trying to remain awake so I can respond if they asked me anything. 

During Mass, I was somewhat attentive especially every time there was a responsorial psalm or a playing song. Their choir seemed to sing "folk" version of the Catholic songs. It was highly fascinating. Then, there was the Homily which I barely understood the because of the priest's thick accent. Throughout the entire Mass, I compared and contrasted Indian Catholic Masses from American Masses. And frankly, they seemed more similar than different.

After Mass, we ate breakfast at a somewhat American cafe. I have never felt close to getting diarrhea until I ate the food there. Maybe my stomach gets upset from American omelettes and toast! So, when we got to the Mall, I had to make a second trip to the bathroom, but thank God, my stomach was just temporarily upset at that time. 

We went to a different mall from Inorbit, and in my opinion, this mall was twice as better. 

They had more different types of stores, and their Indian stores had various types of clothing. When I broke off from our group to shop by myself, I immediately speed-walked everywhere! I wanted to see every store and spend all my money. But, I am "smart" with my money so I only spent it on items that caught my eye (a bar of soap and a pair of earphones). 

Then, we shopped for more in Inorbit, and ate Indian-infused Chinese food. When we got back to the car after shopping for what felt like ten hours, my eyes just wanted to close. Tiredness just overwhelmed me! I had an extremely productive and fun Sunday, but I definitely needed a nap.

When I got back to my room, I actually did not take a nap. My brain started working, so I stayed up for an hour and created my "Borlaug-Ruan Intern Video". Then, my mind started to doze off and I took a much-needed three hour nap.

I woke up by Mariah's voice (as usual). She told me that there was a pool party, and I felt so indecisive: pool or bed? Then, I realized that talking to people felt better than sleeping for twelve hours. I got dressed and headed to the pool.

On our way to the pool, we saw our American intern friends. They actually just finished the pool party! So, we all hung out at Ana's house and talked until midnight. Our conversations switched from San Francisco to food, food to Peruvian culture, to people that had drug overdose, to people that had drug overdose to Hindi movies, to Hindi movies to Californian lives, to Californian lives to how to wear a saree, to how to wear a saree to medicines and vaccinations and so forth. I am definitely glad I got up from my three hour naps.

06/26

01:12 (writing this on 06/28) 

Progress. This Friday marked my first week of work! I SURVIVED! 

As I told many people, I have learned so much about myself, my interests, and my passions all in my first week as a Borlaug-Ruan intern. What do I mean by this? Well, I am never going to be able to fully learn the meaning of research in a classroom. I am never going to be able to fully learn the power of questions in a classroom. I am never going to be able to learn the value of assertiveness and initiative in a classroom. However, as a Borlaug-Ruan intern, I am doing hands-on research that forces me to formulate questions that motivate me to find answers through my personal ambitions. The process of research integrates everything that I learned in a classroom. Therefore, as a researcher, I am doing my own learning, my own application of the skills I have developed through school, sports and daily conversations. Now, how cool is that?!? Beyond cool, if you ask me.

One of the most recent and most important activities that prepared me for this internship is D6 Sports. Because of my ambition to create a free sports league for District 6 youth, and uplift youth leaders, I decided to act upon my I spontaneity (and even irrationality). And, I have to admit that starting a sports league anywhere is no cherry on top. Although there are questions on top of questions that may prevent anyone from carrying out a project, we have to remain focused. We have to remind ourselves the end goal of the project. And, how are we positively going to be impacted in the process? Yeah, there are always gonna be questions, but that is the whole point of a project! Questions show us that a project is never done because there is always room for improvement. And, if we never dared to question, then there is not enough passion, motivation and inspiration to fully carry out the project. As for D6 Sports, it was very unprofessional for me to leave such a huge task to Mark and Francelle (and to any other present and future youth leaders). But as my own leader, I have to trust the process and trust them. Leaders become leaders by doing and through opportunities. And, once anyone realizes that they do not have to hide behind anyone's shadow, but instead rise above that, then growth happens. When growth happens, their eyes are opened, and they see themselves in ways that they never did before. They see themselves as their own leaders. 

Back to the topic, pioneering D6 Sports taught me that successful projects always require inquisitiveness, dedication and perseverance. All those skills that I practice on a daily process are applied in my work in ICRISAT. 

My biggest highlight on my official first week in India is receiving updates on D6 Sporfs from Mark. If they are working hard in SF to make our visions become a reality, then I must continue to work hard here. I accepted that I am going to experience a mixture of emotions from sad to worried and to doubt. But, when I feel happiness from my daily conversations or achievements, then I know that all of the not-so-positive emotions are worth it. True success only comes from hard work.

On a less personal note, my first week here in India is EVEN more special because of this:

YA GIRL PRESH LEARNED HOW TO RIDE A BIKE! Next is swimming! Seven more weeks to go, and I thought I have learned so much already. But who knows where my Indian adventures will take me! 

06/25

18:38 

Driven. I started this morning on a good-note, a 6 o'clock morning run while listening to the Native album! One Republic is a lyric genius. On my run, I finally realized the meaning of "Burning Bridges". I am lyrically-challenged, and when I get songs, I feel extremely accomplished. 

Speaking of accomplishments, I had a very productive check-in meeting with my Supervisor. Lisa told me that Dr. Bantilan has high expectations, so I always ensure that I am prepared prior to the meetings. I have to admit, I felt extremely nervous walking to her office because I felt like I do not know enough information to present my project. But, worrying only shows me the "amount of care" I have for this internship. 

Our meeting ran for about two hours, and I felt extremely happy when she complimented my project. She mentioned that it is very interesting to find out the process of forming SHGs because there is not a lot of research on that topic. Then, we had a conversation with Nageswara, an expert on the village of Dokur, for an hour. Throughout the entire meeting, I felt like the wheels on my mind was moving at a rate of 100 mph. I thought that I narrowed my project down, but in reality, there is so much more information! For instance, I have to analyze the environmental, cultural and socio-economic problems that hinder the formation of successful SHGs. And each of those problems have layers to them, and more layers under those layers! Aside from those three forms of problems, I have to investigate the personal motivation of the members of the SHGs which does not only involve one question. Well, personal motivation is affected by institutions and everyday actions, so I have to examine macro-level problems and narrow it down to micro-level. As I said, this project just has more questions under more questions. My project is like the layers of cake, but it is no ordinary cake. Instead, there are so many layers to the point that you can no longer count them. But, the cake is extremely delicious (or extremely rewarding in my case). 

Since I was on a role with my project, I decided to brainstorm after my nap (I accidentally fell asleep).

I never comprehended the importance of whiteboards until I got to this research center. All of my thoughts look so creative (and messy) when I write it down (especially on a whiteboard). I am definitely buying one to hang in my dorm in Cal. Anyways, you are probably wondering what exactly this whiteboard means. Well, to make a long story short, these notes helped organize the thoughts in my very clustered brain. Here is a short explanation of my thought process:

• I must write down the barriers of forming successful self helped groups in a diagram format
• Oh no, my mind is suddenly thinking about how I should go about in accomplishing this project
• I start writing my research focus
• Wait, I am not done with the three types of problems
• Crap, what exactly do I need to answer with this project??
• I must have a section of BIG questions to answer in this whiteboard
• Wait, I am not done with the three types of problems
• What am I trying to answer with this project again? Okay, let me write it down on the bottom left corner.
• Wow, I have so many questions
• Hmm... all those three types of problems must originate with history, so let me writ down some historical dates (top left corner)
• Wait, I am not done with the three types of problems
• What major years do I need to explore using the Village Dynamics System Data? 
• Wow, I am never going to finish

But, I actually finished my brainstorm!! Then, I spent the next 2-3 hours organizing my thought process even more. As a result, I stayed in my office for an extra two hours just to gather my thoughts. Even though my brain is so fried, I am very glad that I took the extra time to write. I am on such a role with this project that I cannot let that motivation and drive go away.

Aside from the business of my day, I did have to fun highlights.

One, after my meeting with Dr. Bantilan, I spent an hour facetiming Audrey.

There are moments when I really miss my friends, especially since it has already been a week (wow)! While talking to her, I noticed how much I blabbered to her about my work. Honestly, I felt bad talking a great deal about me, but I also wanted to give my friends insight on global work. Anyways, she was excited to hear all about my adventures here in India, and that just reassured me that I am definitely at the right place at the right time in my life. 

Second, I had lunch with very important people in ICRISAT, and I didn't even know they had high positions! I sat with the DG of ICRISAT (I already forgot his name). Apparently, the DG is in charge of ensuring the maintenance of whole research center. Not only does he have such a wide range of accomplishments (he even worked for Bill Gates), but he is also a very down-to-earth guy. Before I left lunch, he gave me this advice: "the enemy of perfect is good. You do not need to write a perfect research paper. Sometimes, your failures teach you more than your successes."

06/24

6:57 (writing this on 06/25)

Relieved. I am glad that I was able to sleep in because I did not have a morning run. My roommate and I came up with our workout plan:

• Mon, Wed, Fri: Gym day/Yoga day/Basketball
• Tue, Thur, Sat: Running day
• Sunday: CHILL

So, I slept in until 7:20 AM, which doesn't really seem that big of a deal, since I wake up at 7:50 during school days (even though school starts at 7:55). When I got to work, I noticed how everyone greeted me with, "Goodmorning" and "how are you?" It hit me that I have such a welcoming workplace. I definitely want to work in an environment where I can go to someone's office, and have a decent conversation especially if I need a break from work. 

My work so far consists of me researching the demographics of Dokur, a village in the state of Andra Pradesh (or is Telangana?). I finally finished reading the Village and Household Economies in India's Semi-arid Tropics. Well, to be frank with you all, I actually skipped the nutrition part because my brain can no longer handle any more statistical data that either: 1) takes forever to understand, or 2) goes over my head. However, the book gave me a holistic view of the area of Dokur especially its economy, gender rights, labor, and its history. The wonderful part of doing research is that I get to plan my own schedule. Actually, it is a blessing and a curse because I can easily get side track when I facetime my friends (during my break). But, I use my breaks as rewards to myself for researching for 1 or 2 hours straight. 

During lunch, I talked to Gabbie about her work. I felt very overwhelmed because I still did not have a research project/topic. Then, somehow, we talked about our phones and the lack of wifi connectivity here. It hit me that I take the Internet for granted in the U.S. In here, people actually have decent conversations without always looking at their phones. I always practice putting my phone away when I am eating out or hanging out with people, but in ICRISAT, rarely anyone looks at their phone (due to the lack of connectivity). Unlike Gabbie, I have wifi in my room and my workplace. I certainly am lucky to have all these benefits. But, then again, I wonder how my experience would be different if I had limited connectivity.

When I returned to work after lunch, I was determined to find my research topic. So, I began to brainstorm.

The best part about this diagram is my drawing, and it is not because it is such a masterpiece. Instead, I kept looking at the drawing to remind me the work of SHGs, and on the side, I wrote a bunch of questions that can hopefully lead to my project. In the meantime, I would look over other existing Intern reports. Suddenly, all these ideas came into my head, and thank God, I found a project! All of the questions that I had always went back to the project that Padmaja proposed to me-- the process of forming successful SHGs in Dokur. It is such a genius topic because there are so many projects about the impacts of SHGs, but there are no research on the formation of SHGs, especially successful ones. I definitely have so much more research to do (and a paper due on Friday), but I am just so happy that I have it narrowed down!

Before I left work, I talked to Dr. Bantilan, and I told her about updates for my project. The best part about the conversation wast that she complimented me for finishing the comprehensive book. I know that this whole internship epitomizes a roller-coaster. It gets really exciting when I figure my project out, but it gets very scary when I have no clue what I am doing. One step at a time!

I ended the day by doing yoga, playing basketball, and going to a "pool party". Yoga was nice at the beginning, and I really felt so relaxed. I literally had nothing to worry about, until I felt all of the bugs on my skin! Then, I lost focused and felt so uneasy for the rest of the 30 minute Yoga session. Then, I played basketball because that was the only thing I thought about during Yoga. My Yoga instructor came by and he was like, "You should be at peace after you do yoga. You are good at basketball, but it disrupts the brain,". But, I still kept playing basketball. Check out the view:

Every Wednesday night, ICRISAT throws a pool party for everyone (particularly the Americans). Unfortunately, we did not know about it until we (the American interns) finished our dinner. But, we still went to the pool and chilled. Even though work can be so intense and boring at times, the events that happen in here make up for all of that! 

06/23

21:39

Swamped. For the past two days (and nights), I have been researching on my project. At this point, I know that I want my project to focus on gender equality and microfinance. Apparently, Self-Helped Groups (SHGs) in India address both of my interests, but there has been so much research on them that I am having trouble finding my research question. I gave up on reading the  comprehensive book of the Semi Arid Tropics. So, I decided to find the rest of my data through other sources! I realized that my attention span/focus level is not at its best. I can write, but researching requires more of my brain cells and energy. I even find myself munching on so many snacks because of stress-eating. It just worries me that I am losing precious time for my project. Plus, I have to write a literature review that lays out my project that is still yet to be determined. Although I have all these worries, I am determined to create a very reasonable project, and I have been getting wonderful support from my mentors like Ms. Basch, Ms. Kavass and previous Borlaug-Ruan interns.

If I do not develop my research question tomorrow, I am going to settle for finding out the process of the formation of SHGs. I am also really proud to come up with a very organized Google folder for this project. I researched a great deal on Dokur, my research site, and the Semi-Arid Tropics through ICRISAT's data. I also began to refresh myself with recent data on gender equality and microfinance. I might be swamped, but I will find that research question!

Aside from the business of my day, I took my first photo with one of my favorite mentors in the Center, Tita Ana.

She definitely makes the transition here so much easier, and I feel like I am right at home especially with her hospitality! I even met other Filipinos from the International Rice Institute, and they welcomed me with open arms. They even added me on Facebook and gave me gifts (food and bag)! I love my culture! 

06/21

8:32 AM (writing this on 06/23)

Dazzling. I woke up in the morning with my back aching! I am slowly getting used to the hardness of my bed. When I woke up, I did not have any expectations for the city tour; I just felt happy that I got the opportunity to go. The city tour was exclusively for the Cornell kids, but my Supervisor made room for me (#perks).

Our first stop was a Muslim tomb for seven famous kings. It was a jaw-dropping to see the architecture from centuries ago (specifically 1016 H) that still exists in today's time!

The thick black color shows that the tombs were not properly cleaned/maintained. Clean or not, I thought the architecture was absolutely stunning. The tombs reminded me a lot about the Palace of Fine Arts. 

Panoramic view of the tombstones

Inside of a mosque

After a tour of the tombstones, we went to the Golcanda Fort. The kings that were buried in those beautifully designed tombs once lived in the Fort. 

Panoramic view of the Golcanda Fort

Here is a History 101 side note: the Fort was created on 1518 by the Shia Muslim and lasted for 100 years. The Sunni caste from the area of the Taj Mahal took over after. Throughout the entire tour, I was just so dazzled by the landscapes and architecture of all of them! Imagine the people living here before, and how they were greatly shaped by the warfare. I have one very interesting story from the Fort. It starts with this photo:

These carvings were made by a prisoner that stole RS 500 million from the king. He used that money to create a mosque in a very far away land. Then, he was found and had to spend 15 years in the dungeon where he created these carvings. Two unbelievable things: 1) he only drank/ate water for 15 years (I am not sure if this is fully accurate) and 2) the king let him go after seeing these carvings. While listening to the tour-guide, I realized the importance of history and how it truly shapes our present generation. And, sooner or later, the present generation will add on its mark in our history and shape the future generation.

   

By the end of the tour, our tour-guide indirectly commented that we under-tipped him. We gave him RS 100, on top of the RS 750, a total of $13. He said that tourists usually tip him RS 300-400 because of his clear English and 20 year expertise. As much as I wanted to give him more money, I was unable to do so. I thought more about giving him the money, than actually doing it. I have more thoughts on the concept of money towards the end of my day.

Our next stop was the Chowmahalla Palace. History 101 side-note: The people that lived in the palace were part of the royal family (I forgot the name). Many of the kings ruled Hyderabad and focused on different aspects of their time. I was greatly fond of one king that made education more accessible to his people by creating universities and medical centers. He even invested more money in education than his army, now that is something unheard of!

A precious photo of the Chowmahalla Palace

Exterior window design

Exterior design of the Chowmahalla Palace

Interior design of the Chowmahalla Palace

Being in the Palace reminded me of our global problem of income inequality. It makes absolute sense for royal families to live in extravagant palaces, but it does not make complete sense to have complete poverty outside of the palace. It seems as if the Palace epitomizes fake wealth, and I can't get my words to fully explain why it felt that way. Don't get me wrong, I felt mesmerized by the interior and exterior design of the Palace, but it seemed too embellished. I definitely would prefer a house in San Francisco, than a Palace in Hyderabad. 

Our last stop before Paradise was the Marble Temple. Unfortunately, we were not allowed to bring our phones, but I was still able to take a photo of the area before I had to hide my phone.

The temple is more to the left (not visible), but there is a statue of a god at the middle of the photo. Since there is no visual representation, I will explain the Temple. We walked a flight of stairs to get to the top, and it started pouring. Who knew that the weather in South India can be so bipolar? Well, we had to go in a circle towards the middle to get to the Temple. Inside the Temple was a extravagantly-clothed elephant god. He has many names, and I was not able to remember any one of them! I understand Hinduism a little more than my friends here, but I still did not understand the significance of the red dot with the mixture of white dot on the forehead. Throughout the entire city tour, I could not fully fathom all of the dazzling architecture! People are just so gifted and talented to create magnificent buildings.

After such a long day, we ended it with a grand dinner in Paradise, a restaurant famous for its Biryani.

I love how there are so much spices in Indian food. I do not really know what I am eating, but I am just glad that I am not allergic to anything. There are also so many dips, and bread (naan/roti), and the flavorful tastes never end! The best part of the entire dinner was the chai, their tea. It tasted like hot milk tea, but 10 times better than the milk tea in San Francisco. The tea took away all of the spice from the food, and if you know me, I am not very good with spicy food. It was the perfect drink to a perfect dinner!

On our way back to the van, there was a kid that looked about 5-6 years old. He looked at me with eyes of hunger and tiredness. He laid out his hand with hopes that I would give him money. Similar to the tour-guide tip situation, I thought more about giving him money than actually giving it to the kid. While the kid kept tapping me, I kept ignoring him by remaining focused in my conversation with my friend. My decision to ignore the kid hit me more in the van. I realized how injustice is really right in front of our eyes through homelessness and poverty, but we choose to look the other way. I do not believe that giving the kid RS 100 would solve his situation. I would have just been a sympathetic foreigner to him that felt pity, and gave him money. But, he will still continue to live in poverty. If I really want to combat global poverty in the present, I have to look at the institutional reasons for why poverty exists. There needs to be better policies that address income inequality, and there needs to be politicians with compassionate hearts that fight global poverty. I do not know how I am going to be a part in solving poverty, but I know that I cannot continue to look the other way when I see poor children. I need to accept that poverty exists, and dive into existing solutions that work. Being here in India is definitely opening my eyes to my fears, my interests and my passions. 

06/20

00:57 (writing this on 06/22)

Blessed. I went for a run with my roommate, and it felt so refreshing; the weather felt just like San Francisco! We ran from our room to the crops and back. Then, I took a cool shower and headed to breakfast. I sat down with Mariah and an Indian student. I asked her so many questions about India and the food. If i was her, I would have been annoyed. Anyways, I learned that ICRISAT is in the district of Patancheru in the area of in Madek and in the state of Andra Pradesh. The names still throw me off, but I am learning the demographics and the history of India one day at a time.

I spent the rest of the day on a city tour with the Cornell kids and Princeton lads. We went to one of their "westernized malls". 

The mall literally looked like Westfield with the HD LED advertisement screens that hung on ceiling, the food courts at the top of the mall, and all of the westernized shops. I spent the first hour with my Jamaican friend, Gabby, in airtel since she needed a SIM card. It's unbelievable how many paperwork is needed to get an Indian SIM card, but it's all worth it. Then, I ordered my very first binyari dish. My taste buds were jumping up and down because of all the flavors! If you are ever in Hyderabad, make sure to eat binyari because it is unlike any other rice dish especially if you mix the yogurt milk/curry in it.

After two hours in the very Westfield-looking-mall, we went to clothing/jewelry place ten minutes away from the mall. At first, I felt so overwhelmed with all of the stores; there were about 100 different ones! While looking around, I realized that most of the workers wanted us to go to their shops because we obviously looked like foreigners. And apparently, foreigners always have money. As a trailblazer, I decided to go to the stores that did not lure me in to go to their store. My first purchase was a black and red saree from this very friendly woman. She even taught me how to wear the saree! 

Hyderabad is apparently known for its pearls. So, I obviously bought my pair of pearls from another welcoming woman. She had to convince me that all her jewelries were real. She also showed me her artisan ID (lol). Then, I made my way to buy long skirts. I bargained with the worker and he ended up selling me two long skirts for 600 rupees/$9.50 (originally 800 rupees). I felt bad for "scamming" him, so I gave him 50 more rupees. Finally, I spent another 700 rupees on a scarf from a very persuasive guy. Well, I primarily felt bad that he took out a lot of the scarves from the plastic covers, just to show me its style. So, I basically bought the scarf for his effort, but again, I bargained with him. I noticed that most of the workers will lower their price with what the customer sees fit. It made a lot of sense because they had a lot of poor/good quality that might never be sold. If they ever get the chance to sell their merchandise, then they will allow to lower their prices just to get rid of them. 

Before we left the market, I talked to this very smart man that was selling scarves with Mariah. He explained to us that many of the other Indian workers feel hostile with Americans/British folks because they do not buy their items. Many of the workers do not take into consideration the fact that those Americans/British folks work long hours, and their trip to India is their reward for all of their hard work. I felt so enlightened to hear him explain the cultural differences. Then, he even showed us how to differentiate from real/fake quality scarves. He didn't even care if we spent our money or not! Instead, he wanted to have a conversation and to share/exchange ideas. He definitely opened my eyes when he told me that his goal in life is not to be rich, instead he wants to be happy. At that point, I concluded that all of us get very caught up in our day-to-day routine and our ambitions that we forget the main goal of permanent happiness. We work tireless hours that make us age faster to climb up the financial ladder while we have to sacrifice our precious time, and even our physical/mental well-being. That is the work of capitalism. Throughout this entire process, we somewhat trade in our happiness for our monetary goals. I'm not saying any of this is bad, it's one's personal decision to choose this type of lifestyle. I know that I want to be wealthy in terms of: good health, great family/friend relationships, and a peace of mind. Money will come and go, but the main goal is permanent happiness.

06/19

6:25 AM

Exhaustion. I have been awake since 4:00 AM. My body still aches from the uncomfortable airplane seats. I even skipped dinner last night because I slept through it. I still don't have wifi, and I really hoped to move into the flat with Mariah last night. Aside from the very exhausting evening, I had a wonderful first day in ICRISAT.

I arrived to Hyderabad airport at 5:55 AM (06/18), and went straight to bag check. It took me literally 45 minutes to get my other luggage. As I left baggage claim, I felt mesmerized to see the different food places in the airport. Many of my friends told me not to expect much throughout my entire trip, but I am convinced that India has a lot to offer. The airport was a testimony to that! Then, I got into the van and looked outside the window for what seemed like a 50 minute car ride. There were so many unfinished construction and ruins, two things that are not common in San Francisco!

When I got to my dorm room, I was surprised to see all of the accommodations provided for me. I had a very clean dorm room, with laundry service (they did my laundry!), a shared bathroom, a swimming pool, a fitness center, and a safe environment to go for runs! Above all, I had Filipino mentors and a fellow Borlaug-Ruan intern with me. Oh, and the food is incredibly delicious! I hope I don't gain too much weight here, but I am determined to start a workout routine. Later during the day, I met so many of my "coworkers", but more like "adult friends" that want to see the best in me, and will help me reach that! I also got a better understanding of my project which is: empowering women to gain access to food quality and food productivity and correlating that with microfinance. I have a lofty task ahead of me, but I am just so honored to spend the next 58-ish days with people that working hand in hand to address global poverty. As excited and determined I am to work my hardest, I am still a bit nostalgic. I miss my family and my friends, and not having WIFI is not helping at all.

10:49 AM

Mystified. I just finished writing my "re-cap" notes of my conversation with Padmaja, a woman scientist focused on gender research. Before talking to her, I absolutely had no clue what my work would encapsulate in ICRISAT. I felt intimidated by my boss (due to all of her achievements), envious of other scholars/interns that knew the specifics of their project, and I especially felt doubtful of my own potential since I am in a science research center with little knowledge about science. On top of that, I am even surrounded by Cornell kids, PhD students, and scientists that are working on real-world issues to provide more food for the impoverished communities. So, I couldn't help but doubt my potential due to my lack of necessary background information. Then, when I talked to Padmaja and Kavitha, I had an epiphany. Everyone in ICRISAT are dedicated to end poverty and that might be through scientific research and lab-work, but that is not the only means to ending poverty. One must keep in mind the social, cultural and economic barriers that prevent poor people from food security. One must keep in mind the means of communicating the scientific research to those in impoverished communities. I realized that I am a single droplet of rain in an existing big puddle of rain. And all the other droplets of rain are working on the huge task of ending global poverty through lab-work, field-work, or pure analytical-work. And, there is no reason to doubt or to fear my capabilities because I truly believe that my potential and prior background knowledge and interest on gender equality and microfinance will be important in the current work of ICRISAT.