1:31 AM
"It's not a good-bye but a see-you later."
As I transition to my first month in UC Berkeley, I have decided to finish this blog with an appropriate post about culture shock.
When I came back a month ago, I had no clue that I would have withdrawals. They are not extreme, but rather mild nostalgia. Since then, I thought about my
experiences, the people that I met, the challenges that I overcame, the inspiration, the culture, and the list goes on! Although I enthusiastically share my stories, they feel less and less genuine (the more and more that I talk about them). It's like I am trying to bring back something that I can't bring back. It's as if the clear memories are slowly becoming blurry. And, the details are getting replaced with new college memories, that I somehow cannot express my Indian stories in an explicit manner.
I guess what I have been meaning to say is that I have not adjusted back to the American lifestyle. Everything around me
feels so individualistic and fast-paced. And, independence here can never equate to independence in India. I figured that I am too comfortable in the States, that it is such an unfamiliar feeling. I loved the stepping out of my comfort zone. Into the ambiguity. I believe that this process leads to the greatest lessons for the individual. By going into the unknown, we are forced to integrate all that we know, and seek our answers. I know college is the same environment in terms of going out of my comfort zone, but yet, everything feels normal. There is no uncertainty, no ambiguity.
Transitioning into this environment continues to be a struggle since I am also in the process of staying true to myself. It is so easy to get lost in the temptation of mediocracy and to cruise by college. But, I won't be doing myself, my family, my friends any justice. I know how difficult college is (especially UC Berkeley), but the academics is actually not the hardest part. Honestly, there are many resources that range from tutoring, to online education to having mentors, that failing classes becomes a problem of time-management. There is no reason to fail in college. However, I find myself struggling to live up to the day. I want to make the most of my days just like in Hyderabad. I want to wake up with ambitious goals for the days, and accomplish them. I want to stay on top of my game without getting discouraged by the vices around me. I know that I need to surround myself with people that positively motivate me to organize my life, to de-stress when needed, and most importantly stay true to myself. And, I found those people in India, now I just need to find them here.
Culture shock is such a huge problem for me. I easily get attached to people, and only time can surely fix it. There has not been a day since I have not thought about my time in India. I have been holding onto my experiences which makes it extremely difficult to transition to this environment.
Well, this post is my first of many steps to live up to my memories and create new ones here. I can't keep holding on to the past, rather I should have the past to guide my present (not determine it).
India, you have been great to me. You have helped me realize the values of family, work ethic, perseverance, genuine friends, and goals. I am forever grateful for this chance to learn and to improve myself. The sky is the limit, and you have proven to me that I am capable enough to reach for nothing but greatness.
Thank you, you will never be forgotten.
