Take me to the Philippines

Before boarding the plane, a rush of emotions hit me from excitement to apprehensiveness. What exactly was I supposed to feel?

The number 11 keeps coming back to my head. It has been 11 years since I stepped foot in the Philippines. But, somehow it doesn’t mean as much as I thought it would. All I know is that I am going to this trip with no expectations, so that I can take in as much as I can.

When we landed at 3:30 AM, I had to hold my tears. I looked around the Ninoy Aquino Airport and tried my best to remember leaving this place 11 years ago. I couldn’t remember, and that upset me. I guess I have this personal expectation to remember my childhood, but I need to get over that. Instead, I should remind myself that I am here to make new memories and reconnect with my family.

Side note: I saw Steve Nash at the Manila Airport 

While driving to our spot, it immediately felt like home. The structure of the buildings, the dirt on the sidewalk, the insane traffic, and the long highways reminded me of India. Nothing looked new to me. Everything looked and felt familiar.

During this first day, three things stood out to me. One, hands-down Filipino food tastes the best in the Philippines. I converted back to eating meat and ate tocino with egg and rice. I swear that food melted in my mouth.

Two, I am blessed to be a part of such a hard-working culture. When I was getting my nails done, I talked to my manicurist and she told me her life story. She married young and didn’t finish high school, had 4 kids and commuted roughly 1.5 hours for work (6 times/week). This is a common narrative of many Filipino workers. Hard-work is instilled in our culture because we grow up with the mentality that we must sacrifice for family. I have to admit, hearing her story made me extremely grateful for my family’s sacrifices to really provide that “better” life for me.

Third, I am very similar to my mom. Here’s a list that I came up with so far:

1. She double-checks, triple-checks, quadruple checks everything. For example, when we leave the house, she would check if the stove is off. I do the same.
2. She keeps the conversation going in long car rides. I am that person for my friend group (but I do a better job of knowing when silence is appropriate).
3. She is short-tempered when she doesn’t need or want help. I try to keep my cool when I don’t need or want help.

Selfie in the condo #yeet