Filipino-American

Nostalgic. I spent the early years of my immigration trying to put the puzzles of my childhood together. I wanted to preserve my memories in the Philippines, but it wasn't so easy to do that as an 8 year old. Sooner or later, most of my memories got replaced with new American experiences. There's nothing wrong with that, I just didn't want to let go.

When I saw my childhood friends -- Khay, Mau and Ben, deep inside I felt so warm. It was a familiar feeling to catch up with them about family, friends, school and everything else. Even if we didn't talk, I felt blissful to just be in their presence. Even writing about this makes me happy. We took a Jeep to the Ayala Mall, and right there I realized that I love being a local (with other locals) when I travelled. I want to see how they see the Philippines. 

Childhood school

Ridin' in my Jeep

When we got to the Mall, we ate pizza. The crust was as hard as a rock, very unappetizing. But the cheese made up for it. I didn't really mind the food as much, I just loved getting lost in our conversations.   During that dinner, I realized what people mean about having more opportunities in the US.  

A1 selfie with the crew

In the US, it seems like there is more freedom to explore academically and career-wise. Throughout this trip, I've heard of people mention how there are no jobs in their hometowns so they travel hours to get to work. People do that in the US too, but I don't think it's a common narrative for many Americans. I noticed that many people my age are not as appreciative of what they are given, or for the opportunities right in front of them. For example, it's much easier for an American to travel abroad compared to those in the Philippines. The hourly minimum wage in SF is the daily minimum wage in the Philippines. Wifi is limited. The streets get flooded whenever there is heavy rain. Traffic is always part of the commute. I don't have suggestions or solutions to these, but I wanted to point out some of the everyday realities of the Filipino people. 

Throughout this trip, my classmates and family members have reiterated how hard life is in the Philippines. Whenever I say "life is hard", I've never meant it in the same weight as what I've been told here in the Philippines. Looking back, most of my problems seem minuscule. I don't have as much worries -- I have a roof over my head, I have money for food, education is affordable, I have a hard-working family and so forth. Honestly, I am truly blessed and thankful for everything I have.

Going on this trip has made me more grateful with my parents' decisions to move to the US. In exchange, I don't have close relationships with my extended family and my Tagalog is not great. Above all, I realized in this trip that I'm not entirely Filipino. I don't really know what that fully means because every Filipino has their own idea of what makes a Filipino. Yes the stereotypes are there, and they all contain some truth, but those also don't determine if one is Filipino. I realized that I am not just Filipino, but I am a Filipino-American.