Listana Day

It’s frustrating to try to put into words my trip back to the Philippines. I feel like there are no words to describe my experience. Some places that we went to during our Albay tour brought back so much warm emotions. I don’t necessarily remember driving or going to these places at a young age. But, something about driving to my dad’s hometown, Anislag, Albay, just felt extremely familiar especially with my cousins.

Lolo and Lola's old home

Most of our traveling was spent in the car and we talked about everything. It felt like we were attempting to catch up on those eleven years in our limited 8-5 PM Albay tour. To me, seeing the places were eye-opening but spending time with my family made the whole trip.

Before my trip to the Philippines, I did not really understand the Filipino value of family. Our family deeply values family, but it’s a whole new level in the motherland. During our Albay tour, I was amazed to see my cousins from my mom’s side bond really well with my cousins from my dad’s side. We were one big family, something that isn’t as present in the States.

Our first stop was Your Brother ATV near Daraga. Gabbie, Ate Pau and I were on one ATV and Royce, Angel and Tita Bennie were on another. This ATV course had more hills and a lake to ride over. Ate Pau and I spent most of the ride catching up about school, career, family, friends and aspirations. It’s interesting to realize how many conversation topics we talked about in such a short amount of time. We crammed 11 years of our life in that 8-5 PM tour.

New whip

I also realized that my cousins from my dad’s side want to travel abroad for jobs. They asked me about the overall life back in the States, and I did not refrain from telling them the truth that I saw. Life in the States isn’t the ideal especially if you are an immigrant. The standard of living is much higher compared to the Philippines therefore we “make more money” in America. In exchange for making more money, we had to leave our families and simple lifestyles behind. In America, it feels like we always want more. Once we reach our goal, we have another one. America is a great place for people that always want more for themselves, for their family. I did not hold anything back from them.

After the ATV ride, we had Jolibees for lunch. The worker messed up our drive-through order, and we spent the entire time waiting for our order trying to the right order. I guess she was under-pressured because we told her 10-20 different items. Still not an excuse to mess up our order.

While driving through the long and windy roads to Misibis Bay, we ate Jolibee. The portions are half the size as the portions in the States. No doubt about it, Philippines food will always taste 100 times better than Filipino food in America despite the smaller portions.

Honestly I have no clue why we drove to Misibis Bay especially since most of the attractions require the whole day to enjoy the place. We had 3 more hours left for the tour and we haven’t even gone to Cagsawa, the main place that I wanted to see in Bicol. Regardless of the random trip to Misibis, I was grateful for the precious view of the beach, the hills that spread outside of the Chapel and the gorgeous amphitheater. This resort had viewpoints that showed the many beauties of the Philippines.

Fancy resort entrance

That view though

Shoutout to mom for getting this

That view though x2

On the way back to Albay, Ate Pau and I got lost in our conversation about meditation. She told me that she once spent an hour every day meditating for an entire month. For that hour, she thought of nothing. I don’t think that I can even make my mind think of nothing for 2 minutes. Thoughts always race in my monkey mind. Maybe I’ll practice meditation and work on having my mind more at peace.

In the last hour of our tour, we went to Sumlang Lake and Cagsawa, the best for last. The breeze in Sumlang Lake made you forget that you were in the Philippines. I could spend an entire day there relaxing and looking at the Mayon. We probably spent at most 30 minutes there, and made our way to Cagsawa. It’s crazy to notice how time flew so fast, and most of our tour was spent in the car (lol).

Straight up cheesin'

Wacky Wacky

When we got to Cagsawa, I got extremely nostalgic. I remembered the childhood version of me throwing up the peace sign in front of the Mayon Volcano and the Ruins whenever dad, kuyas and I had tourist days. To me, the Mayon Volcano and the ruins are more than a volcano and ruins. To me, Cagsawa is a symbol of my childhood. Even after all these years, the place is just as beautiful as the time I left it.

I'm home

After all of the picture-taking and feeling like a tourist moments, we drove back to the Casablanca suites. I dreaded the car ride back because I knew and my cousins knew that this was going to be the last time we saw each other until the next time. To us, it’s not a good-bye but instead a see you later.

Will you marry me?

Sunday marks an important day for Filipinos. It is a day for rest and family. But, this Sunday was a special one. My auntie got engaged.

During lunch, we sat on a long table filled with endless foods: Filipino chicken, crispy pata, lumpia, fish, rice, and turon. While everyone exchanged conversations, I just focused on the food; there is no food like home.

Can you name all the foods?

By the end of lunch, my cousins and I got on the ATV, while everyone else talked on the long table. It was exhilarating to ride a vehicle especially since I’ve never ridden anything before. It felt tempting to fully accelerate and ride with the wind. But, it’s better to be safe than sorry right? Plus, I was riding with little Gabbie.

First-time riding an ATV with little Gabbie

The resort was gorgeous and the air extremely refreshing. The pear-shaped pool was the perfect shade of blue. It’s like being in a place where you cannot think of your problems at all. By the time we got off the ATV, my aunts and uncles still sat and talked on the long table. Later on, I found out that Tito Ian was asking for my grandma’s blessing for him to marry my aunt.

How can you think of your problems in this place?

Witnessing my uncle ask for a blessing made me proud of my culture. In Filipino culture, when two people marry each other, it is a unity between two families. The husband just doesn’t know his wife, but he also knows her parents, siblings, in-laws, friends of the siblings, nephews, nieces, literally everyone. That’s why Filipino parties are so big because somehow someone connects everyone.

We stayed at the resort for a good 5-6 hours. By the time we left, it was almost dinnertime. I guess I now understand why I lose track of time whenever I’m with my friends. It is because I see that in my family and I adapt that in my everyday life.  Personally, I hate being aware of the time when I’m out with my family and friends. It takes away from the meaningful conversations like the one’s on the long dinner table.

Our next destination was the Sorsogon Pier. We took an incredible amount of photos by the statues (we spent more time doing that rather than sightseeing). I’m just glad I got sago, but I wished I also got balut. I can’t regret much because our dinner was just as big as our lunch.

Cheesin' real hard with the cuzzos

Sago

We headed to Tito Ed’s house and his house felt like a mansion. On their living room, he had a photo of his wife included with a lovely poem. Filipinos are such romantic people.

The dinner, specifically the crab, reminded me a lot of our family get-togethers when I was younger. I remembered always going for the crab whenever it was available; it tasted just like before. Even though we get older, there are certain foods that bring us back to our childhood. That crab was that food for me.

Yummy  #1

Yummy  #2

Yummy  #3

By the end of dinner, Tito G made an announcement for everyone to direct our attention to Tito Ian and Ninang. This was it. Tito Ian was going to formally propose in front all of us. On his first attempt, my uncles and aunt burst into laughter. They were playing with Tito Ian and giving him a harder time. Then, he tried again. This time, he got on his knees, looked at my aunt and asked, "Even though I do not have a ring, what I will say is worth more than diamonds. Will you marry me?" We listened intently until Ninang gave her joyful yes, and we broke into more laughter. You could see the sweat dropping from Tito Ian’s head. He was beyond nervous, but he did it. June 17, 2017, mark our calendars for their wedding.

Congrats Ninang & Tito Ian!

Golden Birthday

Family. The entire weekend was reserved for my mom's side. The entire weekend was celebration after celebration. First a Birthday, then an engagement, but let me not get too ahead of myself.

Early Saturday morning, I went grocery shopping with Tita Bennie. The Market is just like what you saw on TV – vendors attempting to sell you their goods, stores left and right, and people everywhere. The market reminded me a lot of India, especially whenever my Auntie tried to bargain for the price of the food. I loved how every good was not a fixed price, unlike the goods in the US. As I recorded the marketplace, the vendors would stop me and encourage me to record their products. Then, I would shyly move away and follow my auntie.

After lunch, my auntie and I went to the salon to get her hair and makeup done. I didn’t want to wait for the whole time so I left and walked around. I noticed that most of the sari-sari stores (neighborhood stores) were ran by Lolas (grandmas). Most of the tricycle drivers were predominantly young adult males. These two jobs – store owner and tricycle driver, at least in the province, were shaped by gender. I didn’t see a male work in the sari-sari stores or a woman drive a tricycle. I don’t think there is anything wrong with that, I guess it’s just the norm.

Sari-Sari Store

 

When we got back, we got ready. By the time we finished, it was 6 PM, the start of the party. Of course we ran on Filipino Time since we couldn’t find someone to pick us up because everyone else was running late. By 6:30 PM, Tito Ian picked us up and we came into the party looking like the party just started.

My mom introduced me to so many family members that I could not remember. Honestly, I felt embarrassed to forget them, so before we got into a lengthy conversation, I would tell them that I had to leave since I was the designated “videographer”. Don’t get me wrong, I really wanted to reminisce and have the “remember this… and that” conversation, but it felt too much of a shock for me. I am no longer the small eight-year old kid that left the Philippines, and I didn’t really know how to communicate that to them. On top of that, my Tagalog was broken with mixed English words in between phrases.

Whenever I took a break from videoing the celebration, I talked with my cousins. It’s so reassuring to have people around my age to relate experiences. They filled me in whenever I asked them who was who, so I didn’t look as clueless. They recalled the times we hung out as children (which I couldn’t remember most of the time). They shared stories of school and their families. I loved how easy it was to catch up with them.

Cousins with the Birthday Girl

Wacky Wacky

By the end of the celebration, my uncles, auntie and cousin sang. We were like the Filipino families I saw on TV, the ones that sang and dance. I really want music also incorporated into our parties in the States along with the long tables of Filipino food and long, endless conversations.

I am so glad to be home.

Filipino-American

Nostalgic. I spent the early years of my immigration trying to put the puzzles of my childhood together. I wanted to preserve my memories in the Philippines, but it wasn't so easy to do that as an 8 year old. Sooner or later, most of my memories got replaced with new American experiences. There's nothing wrong with that, I just didn't want to let go.

When I saw my childhood friends -- Khay, Mau and Ben, deep inside I felt so warm. It was a familiar feeling to catch up with them about family, friends, school and everything else. Even if we didn't talk, I felt blissful to just be in their presence. Even writing about this makes me happy. We took a Jeep to the Ayala Mall, and right there I realized that I love being a local (with other locals) when I travelled. I want to see how they see the Philippines. 

Childhood school

Ridin' in my Jeep

When we got to the Mall, we ate pizza. The crust was as hard as a rock, very unappetizing. But the cheese made up for it. I didn't really mind the food as much, I just loved getting lost in our conversations.   During that dinner, I realized what people mean about having more opportunities in the US.  

A1 selfie with the crew

In the US, it seems like there is more freedom to explore academically and career-wise. Throughout this trip, I've heard of people mention how there are no jobs in their hometowns so they travel hours to get to work. People do that in the US too, but I don't think it's a common narrative for many Americans. I noticed that many people my age are not as appreciative of what they are given, or for the opportunities right in front of them. For example, it's much easier for an American to travel abroad compared to those in the Philippines. The hourly minimum wage in SF is the daily minimum wage in the Philippines. Wifi is limited. The streets get flooded whenever there is heavy rain. Traffic is always part of the commute. I don't have suggestions or solutions to these, but I wanted to point out some of the everyday realities of the Filipino people. 

Throughout this trip, my classmates and family members have reiterated how hard life is in the Philippines. Whenever I say "life is hard", I've never meant it in the same weight as what I've been told here in the Philippines. Looking back, most of my problems seem minuscule. I don't have as much worries -- I have a roof over my head, I have money for food, education is affordable, I have a hard-working family and so forth. Honestly, I am truly blessed and thankful for everything I have.

Going on this trip has made me more grateful with my parents' decisions to move to the US. In exchange, I don't have close relationships with my extended family and my Tagalog is not great. Above all, I realized in this trip that I'm not entirely Filipino. I don't really know what that fully means because every Filipino has their own idea of what makes a Filipino. Yes the stereotypes are there, and they all contain some truth, but those also don't determine if one is Filipino. I realized that I am not just Filipino, but I am a Filipino-American.

Filipino Roots (07/06)

Luneta

Manila Bay

Manila Cathedral

Fort Santiago

Who doesn't love Manila?

I got the real taste of being a tourist today. Thanks to Ate Khay and Ate Rose, we were able to explore Luneta, Intramuros, and Mall of Asia. People's hospitality never ceases to amaze me. They spent their day offs, their time to relax to show us around. That's why whenever I have out of state/ out of the country friends, I make sure to take the time out of my day and show them around. It's a ripple effect.

Our whip for the day

Throughout this day I learned about Dr. Jose Rizal's life. I finally understood why he's the Philippines national hero. At a time of Spanish colonization, he fought against them through writing; the pen is indeed mightier than the sword. He started a national movement for Filipinos to own their identity, and to become their own country. The time for colonization is done.

Feelin' like Jose Rizal

Aside from his influence on Filipino independence, I was amazed to learn how passionate he was for learning. He travelled abroad to pursue higher education from Spain to Germany because he believed that there was always more. So, I started thinking, how come most people stop believing that there is more out there? Of course there is no single answer to that. It's a web of complexities that start from one's upbringing, environment, religion, culture, gender, socio-economic status, and the list goes on. All I have to say on this thought is that people need to see more in themselves and to believe that they are capable of greater measures. We are all destined for greatness.

I wonder, did Dr. Rizal understand the impact he would have on the Filipino people? Probably not. So, that got me thinking. I can live my life dedicated to addressing social issues, and my effort might not have as great of an impact while I'm alive, but like Dr. Rizal, my work will be a legacy for others. That's a bold and meaningful way of living.

We ended the night with a huge Filipino feast. We had bulalo, sisig, pansit, filipino pork chop, sweet and sour fish, fried chicken, pusit and of course, rice and lumpia. Every bite I had melted in my mouth. I don't know how I would have survived in this vacation if I did not reconvert back to eating meat. I know that I would be missing out not just on the best-tasting food ever (no bias whatsoever), but also the culture. Food is so inherent in our culture just as singing and dancing is. It's been day 2, and so far, I am extremely blessed to be here.

Yummy

Selfie game too strong